As Christians we believe that marriage is a gift from God.
If you do too then, we would be pleased to discuss with you holding your wedding at St Mary the Virgin Buckland, or St Michael’s Betchworth. Our Church has provided a spiritual and charming setting for the weddings of many couples within our community.
These notes are offered in an effort to answer some of the common queries about weddings. Our prayers and good wishes are with you as you plan for your wedding day and begin your married life.
Please do contact our Rector, Revd. Pru Dulley, if you are considering having your wedding at St Mary the Virgin Buckland or St Michael’s Betchworth.
Our Service
Of course we will work with you as a couple to decide the words of the Service you would like and suggest readings that are appropriate and that ‘speak to you’ from the holy book. This includes a choice of 'vows' and alternative marriage readings.
Please do call us if you have questions about alternative services. Below we list some of the practical and legal points that also have to be considered:
Entitlement to be Married in the Parish Church
You are entitled to be married in the Parish Church provided that: One of you, at least, is baptised, and One (or both) of you lives within the Ecclesiastical parish of Betchworth or Buckland, orOne (or both) of you is on the Electoral Roll of the Parish of Betchworth or Buckland. In order to come on the Roll, the applicant must be, baptised and over 16, be a member of the Church of England (or of a Church in communion with the C of E ), and if not resident in the parish, has habitually attended public worship during the period of six months prior to enrolment, and has filled in the application form for the Roll.
For divorcees or couples who are entering into a second marriage after a divorce each case will be considered in its individual circumstances. New legislation has made further allowances which take into account parental involvement or grandparents involvement within the parish.
Please contact the clergy for further details.
Church Capacity
The pews at St Mary's Buckland comfortably seat about 60 guests. The Choir stalls for the choir seat up to 16 singers. If you anticipate more guests, we would refer you to our partner church at St Michael's Betchworth, which has a larger capacity.
Time of Wedding
Weddings can be arranged for any day between 8.00am and 6.00pm subject to other services in church. We usually allow a minimum of an hour and a half between weddings.
Parents Consent
If either of you is under 18 years of age at the time of your wedding, both parents must give written permission.
Banns
Your Banns will be called at the main Sunday service on the second, third and fourth Sundays two months before the wedding. Legally, you are not required to be present at the reading of Banns but most couples like to be there to hear them read. If one of you lives in another parish, you will have to go and see the vicar of the parish where you live and arrange for the Banns to be read there too. When this has been done, you must pay for and collect the Banns certificate, and which the person taking the wedding then has to see beforehand.
Licence
No licence is needed if Banns are called, but sometimes, for example, when one party comes from abroad, or if it is wished to avoid publicity, marriages are conducted by licence. Talk to the clergy further about this.
Form of Service
We normally use the popular wedding service found in Common Worship. The clergy will arrange to meet couples about 3 or 4 months before the wedding date when choices about forms of vows, prayers and readings can be made.
Music
We shall need to know which bridal and wedding marches you would like, and any requests for special music. It is advisable to choose hymns with well known tunes. As soon as you have a firm arrangement for your wedding please contact our organists immediately to make an appointment to discuss your requirements. For Betchworth and Buckland please contact our organist, Richard Calver. If you intend to have a service sheet printed, it is essential to let us see the draft copy before you go to print. There are one or two short parts of the Service which it is helpful to include. Please remember to allow extra copies for the organist.
Bellringing
The couple can choose to have the church bells rung to celebrate the day. Ringing usually commences as the couple leave the church and continues as the wedding guests gather outside. Please contact the Captain of the Bells, David Sayce, 01737 242776.
Preparation & Rehearsal
Whoever is to conduct the wedding will hope to see you on at least two occasions beforehand. The first to prepare generally and the second for a rehearsal which usually takes place on a weekday evening a few days before the wedding.
Fees
You will be handed a separate paper showing how much your wedding will cost. The total cost depends on factors as to whether, for example, you want the bells and a choir. Normally, a non-returnable deposit is paid when the wedding is booked. The balance of the fees is then paid in cash before the wedding day, say, at the rehearsal. It is helpful if the fees are put in separate envelopes and marked ‘bells’, ‘flowers’, ‘choir’ etc.
Flowers
Please discuss your needs with Debbie Jones on 07701 347351, church flower co-ordinator. The church flower arrangers do not feel able to do wedding flower arrangements so it is necessary to contact a florist of your choice. However, it is normal practice to leave your pedestal arrangements in church for use on the Sunday morning. Debbie will be able to answer any other queries you may have, and offer advice.
Confetti
Will you please tell friends and relatives that if confetti is thrown to use the biodegradable sort and it may be thrown outside (not inside!) the churches. The church can provide suitable confetti, we use dry rose petals, which make beautiful biodegradable confetti.
Car Parking/Toilet
Cars may park close to Buckland Deli, the village shop, at the top part of Old Road on the left, and on Rectory Lane by the pond (but not on the grass or cobbles of the village green). Buckland's Village Hall, called the 'Reading Room', is 100m metres distant from church and toilets available, including a disabled facility and baby changing unit.
Photographs & Video
Taking photographs in church during the service should be discussed with the Rector. If you wish to make a tape-recording or video of your wedding please discuss it with whoever is to conduct the service. Please note that the organist and other fees may be doubled for the privilege of video and careful attention should be made to copyright laws.
Bridesmaids, Attendants & Ushers
It is helpful to have at least two ushers to show key people to their seats and, where required, give service sheets to your guests. Ushers should be at church in good time on the day of the wedding. It is advisable to think very carefully if you are intending to have very small children as bridesmaids and attendants; you can never predict how they will cope with such occasions.